Excuses, Excuses…

RHOD Season 4 Episode 3

Why do I write this blog?

This blog is not intended to be about anyone’s specific behavior, but a way to use scenes and conversations to parallel real life for us to learn to reflect on our own experiences and behavior so growth can occur. This works just like using a movie clip to provide an example for us or a quote from an author that aligns with how we are thinking or feeling in our own life.

I care deeply for the women on the Real Housewives of Dallas. They are strong, purposeful, and inspirational people. My blog is not about their real lives or intended as messages to them on how to change in any way their personal pursuit of goals and dreams.

Please know my words and insights are only drawn from scenes in a current reality show. It is not in any way intended to be focused on individuals or life occurrences. Let’s continue to bring the flow of positivity, compassion, and empathy for ourselves and others.

Do you make excuses in your daily life to avoid conflict and confrontation or to create a purpose for your negative behavior? Excuses are a part of life, and they prevent us from stepping forward. This week on the Real Housewives of Dallas, we are Mexico-bound… From the lesser level of hair emergencies to the higher end of family dysfunction and abuse, the housewives are headed into the deep end of drama this week.

Excuses were a common thread running through much of the conversations in this episode. When is an excuse for our behavior acceptable and when is it not? Can it be a statement providing the missing link of information for what has happened in the past or present?

Yes, the excuses were many in this episode. Which ones do you use? Are you guilty, too? We all periodically justify our own actions in life. Let’s just choose a few.

Excuse #1: Hair Emergencies

We begin with a supportive meeting scheduled to assist D’Andra in her challenges in business. Travis purposefully researched the beauty industry and where current trends were heading beforehand to provide D’Andra with some valuable insights (and he pulled in his savvy business sense, too). As Travis states the truth in the matter for all of us, “You have to show up in business (and in life) if you are going to make something happen!” As she shares what happened with her husband, Jeremy, she is embarrassed about missing her meeting. He lets her know a “hair emergency” wasn’t the real reason behind her absence. D’Andra shares in an open and meaningful way that no, she was nervous and anxious. She calls Travis and apologizes for her behavior. There is a shift in her mindset. Way to go, D’Andra!

My comment to D’Andra today is:

You have been empowered. You are talented and innovative. You can reach out to those who will mentor and guide you for the next steps. You CAN step forward. Take one step today.

Excuse #2: Family Drama

Even with a fabulous trip to Mexico as a BIG birthday treat for D’Andra, some conversations about the past and difficult dynamics between the girls still snuck into the celebration. They continue to a breathtaking home high on a cliff overlooking the ocean with a private beach. What a beautiful place for a birthday celebration! A gorgeous location, a full attentive staff, traditional meals, and peaceful surroundings—it is their own version of paradise in Careyes, but they must endure a grueling two-hour drive on winding roads in a hot van to reach it. You can imagine how that ignited negativity for everyone and brought out the real emotions under the surface.

The roommates are set by Kary, the hostess, to possibly bring new closeness. As she pulls the names out of a hat, the laughter begins… well, maybe it’s nervous laughter. LeeAnne continues to state, “Don’t you have seven bedrooms?” She wants a room to herself, away from all of the girls. Her demeanor was already defensive. The safety for her in this situation was gone. It may have created a recipe for anxiety and fear for her.

As the conversation continues, Kary feels disregarded and disrespected as host. LeeAnne doesn’t want to room with her. Kary asks her, “Why are you always so negative about everything in your life?” Kary has heard Leeanne complain about rooming, hiking, stairs, the unique bridge, and even “why aren’t we there yet?” questions. We overhear LeeAnne’s true feelings: she has gone rogue and has chosen her own room away from everyone. Was she feeling attacked? Her safety is gone, and her internal switch is saying, “Be on HIGH alert.”

The scrumptious traditional food is lovingly prepared for them as a gift from Kary. Being open to new experiences is a way to walk forward in your life. Yet, that is not what occurs here. The sharing of their lives and their pasts begins to overpower the luscious dinner. Do your family celebrations bring forth feelings of the past? As we begin to approach the fall season with numerous holidays, festivities, and family dynamics under stress, it’s time to make sure we check our feelings around these interactions to stay healthy and happy making new memories.

My reaction when we feel these ways in unsafe environments is:

You have the safety you need within YOU. There is no threat to you. You are walking in your own power and can share your light and love with others without judgment or fear. Your past no longer defines you. Release to receive the beauty of life that is waiting for you.

You CAN step forward. Take one step today.

Excuses are a way to bring a safety around our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. It is a means to build a negative boundary against what we are not quite willing to unlock and meaningful healing and conversation. What are you giving excuses for today? Can you give yourself the affirmation of: I AM SAFE in my _______________________? When you are ready to open your heart to the shift in your path of purpose, you will release the excuses to receive the abundance that is coming. Ready? You’ve got this!

Our ladies, again, provide us with some things to think about. As we can imagine, the DRAMA continues. Stay tuned for next week!

Remember... Step Forward each day!

Lori

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