I’m Sorry! I’m Sorry? I’m Sorry... but...
RHOD Season 4 Episode 1
Wow! What a kickoff to the new season of RHOD. With so many relationships to focus on, I ultimately decided to share my insights on the significance of apologies. I won’t recap the episode, but I will spotlight some of the conversations, interactions, and of course, the drama.
After participating in Season 2 and watching the drama unfold, I knew my gifts would be best used in supporting you, the viewers and fans, with your own takeaways about relationships, family, work, and growing your most authentic self. Being Stephanie Hollman’s visionary and Cary Deuber’s, too, I have been honored to be part of the deepest hurts and greatest challenges for them.
Each week, I will be posting thoughts and reflections for you, and I hope you will comment, debate, share, and appreciate my ideas. This week, I posted this quote on social media: “An apology without change is just manipulation.” It spurred my focus on the concept of “I’m sorry” and apologizes.
THEY ARE BACK!
Thanks to Stephanie for starting us off in our first theme for the season: “Frenemies.” Why did Stephanie choose to approach this challenge between two friends? Probably a bit of déjà vu. She and Brandi vividly remember how their friendship was placed in the “intensive care unit” in Season 2. Their long-term friendship came to an abrupt halt, and everyone in the families and all the “housewives” were affected. After the healing began, they all realized how important it was to value friendships in their lives.
A “friend intervention” for D’Andra and LeeAnne is long overdue. The negatives and “wrongs” from each other seem to have risen so high that there is no coming back... or is there? What will it take to start over or accept each other’s apologies? I can tell you, it is much more than an “I’m sorry” at this point. With the upcoming big birthday for D’Andra and LeeAnne’s wedding, isn’t it worth the chance to rekindle the closeness of their bond? After an eight-year friendship, maybe it was time to send out a search party for all of the little pieces of memories shattered around Dallas from their explosive interactions last season. We will have to stay tuned as the story progresses.
Yet, those aren’t the only intervention discussions, continuing with a highly charged emotional focus on D’Andra’s concern for the company and its finances. When her mother, Dee, placed the company in her daughter’ s name, was it sabotage? The thought has crossed her mind more than once or twice. Are there too many “wrongs” in their woeful mother-daughter history for trust or apologies?
What about the friendships or relationships you thought were so close? You had history together, shared laughter and tears. Did you ever feel like signing up for relationship counseling when you were going through tough challenges together? Was Travis correct when he said guys would just argue and then move on? Is saying “I’m sorry” enough? Should it wipe the slate of wrongdoings clean?
LeeAnne shares how she has said her “I’m sorry” to D’Andra multiple times, and it has not been received nor has it changed the circumstances. She asks D’Andra a very interesting question: why is she saying she’s sorry and feels she wants to find resolution now? Her response is quite telling: “I want it off my heart and spirit. It is the right thing to do. We have a past. I made a mistake.” They are both throwing the shards of their pain at each other. Yes, it will take time. For healing to occur, trust has to be reestablished between them both without more induced betrayal or doubt.
D’Andra does make a common statement that is worth a moment of insight: “Own what you have done.” LeeAnne feels the same way. When we feel someone has wronged us, we often ask them to review the hurt in their mind. After all, if they cannot see the emotion we felt, they haven’t “owned” it, right? Or is it that we expect others to see the wrong behavior and be willing to acknowledge a change that will now be evident going forward? Powerful words, D’Andra and LeeAnne! Ladies, you have provided so much more for us (and you!) to work on! I would like to create a new focus on exactly this. Watch for my next blog!
For now, my friends, realize that time heals. Focusing on what you originally appreciate about each other brings in a breath of hope amidst the pain and frustration. Each of your abilities to be passionate, strong, vivacious, and independent women who see a purpose in being part of the community is what drives you. Valuing friendships and relationships in your life—and knowing “family” doesn’t have to be blood-related—is what bonded you together. Now, breathe...
My view is one of relationship rescue and having the ability to reFRESH and reENVISION our behavior, thoughts, and actions forward with a reNEWED path.
How about you? What relationships need repair or tender loving care in your life? Make it a focus this week! You will be so blessed in doing so!
And welcome to the newest “housewife,” Kary Brittingham! You are now immersed in the relationship experience zone. I love your strength and feeling of personal power as you talk with others about being who they are.
Until the next episode… stay tuned and remember to…
Step Forward in Your Life,