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All the Triggers

RHOD Season 4 Episode 4

We all experience triggers in life that steal our joy or bliss, whether it’s challenges and stress around family, work, friendships, health, or many other areas. We can be triggered by how others treat us or words and perceptions that are made. All of us have experienced these moments. The “housewives” are not immune to this phenomenon. They provide us their own personal moments as good examples of how we bring up these triggers. I personally appreciate how raw and real all of the women are this year in sharing those with you.

In this particular episode, Brandi and Stephanie share their own triggers during the evening’s conversations. Stephanie was affected by the strong emotions evoked in regards to depression and suicide. For her, the triggers were a past she has moved forward from, and healing has replaced the feelings that were previously part of her life. Yet, knowing where she is today gives her comfort and the ability to continue to shift her thoughts and actions. Brandi received a similar response to the painful name she remembers of from her classmates calling her: “white trash” or “trash.”

Triggers come from painful things in our past where we still have anchors attached to memories that evoke powerful and very vivid emotional responses. They are real, and they are rooted in our brain with the most sensory details and connections.

One of my own triggers involves my health and wellness. If you have read my book, Step Out, Step Up, Step Forward: How to Walk in Purpose, you will be aware of my own health crisis. It is a daily challenge for me to stay balanced and sustain the required energy to bring forth the mission I feel I am on for others. Self-care was a major realization that allowed me to heal. Also, learning to be responsible for my needs in this regard was powerful.

The key is using self-care to soothe ourselves in life when triggers enter our daily walk. Stephanie has shared how meditation and mindfulness helps her stay grounded in today and release the past. There are many other ways to give self-love and self-care, like making good choices for oneself in regards to food, activities, relationships, sleep, and being outside. The most difficult challenge is to shift one’s mind from these experiences. The healthier we are in mind, body, and spirit, the more we can release these toxic triggers.

Kary had such a powerful suggestion to go and do something healing and relaxing together. I love the beautiful and serene spiritual experience all of the women engaged in at La Copa del Sol. A local artist built La Copa del Sol like a giant concrete meditation bowl, which acts as a receptor to bring forth healing for a spiritual encounter. It’s located out on the tip of the land with the bluffs and waves crashing around it. It has been a place of positive energy and flow, arranged to have a session with a healer and engage in a sound therapy and guided meditation. With their yoga mats facing toward the center of the base of the bowl, she gently creates the space for each woman to use as a personal renewal and healing time. As they finished, there were tears, deep sighs, a quieter energy, and the feel of tensions being released. How perfect!

You don’t need to create the heightened session for your own tensions and stress, but a plan for personal care and time to choose yourself is a must. For some of you, it’s a yoga class, meditation, or a walk in nature. For some, it’s doing physical exertion like stairs, biking, or running. As you may know about me, my Wednesdays are my reminder day of balance and bliss in my life. We spend time with our grandchildren playing in the sand, running at the park, blowing bubbles, and snuggling. These are all examples we should all be aware of every day.

Our triggers are real. They shift us out of our “ease” and into “dis-ease.” Let the lessons of the housewives support your need to choose more self-care moments. As the “wives” showed us, maybe it is a fun day with your friends doing cartwheels and interpretive dance all along with lying in a concrete bowl. Whatever it is… just make it happen!

Stay tuned and remember to step out, step up, and step forward in your life,


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