This season on Real Housewives of Dallas (RHOD) we have been sharing ideas about walking your “walk” and talking your own “talk”. Things which are our thoughts and actions may not make sense to everyone. As I share with my clients and my “housewives”, if you make a decision to have an outrageous action, make it YOURS. Follow up your choice with strength in conviction, not blaming or shaming of others.
This also means you need to understand when others do the same. When you are in the wrong, own it. Create an opportunity to have a conversation “IN truth” and explain your behavior or your words with empathy and an apology.
Here are some quick examples from the last episode of RHOD:
D’Andra and her husband, Jeremy, finally have a chance to talk with their son, Keatin, after the argument and his departure from their home a few months ago. D’Andra wants to take a moment to apologize and let him know how the interaction helped her grow in her own “truth” and understanding of the differences each person has as they make their own decisions in life. She says, “I expected you to drive down my lane, not your own lane. I needed to stop judging you and let Keatin do Keatin.” Truly Powerful words of speaking “IN” truth. Way to go, D’Andra!
During the Mexico trip, the group had many examples of negative interaction, blaming, and shaming, and well as judgment. Yes, the item named, “sexual chocolate” brought out the worst in many of the women in more ways than one. Yet, Cary speaks her own truth even if it isn’t popular. As Stephanie and Brandi were enjoying their own example of fun behavior, which some individuals felt was bordering on inappropriate, they were judged based on others' expectations. Whether you or I believe they were correct, funny, or ridiculous, they were owning their actions. Cary’s perception was affected during this episode, as she listened to Cameron speaking IN her own truth. Could it be viewed as by others as too reactive or prudish? Yes, by others who believe in only their own truth or view instead of understanding and care for someone else’s need in a situation. We can feel we have crossed someone’s boundaries just as Cameron felt as she tried to relay to Stephanie and Brandi to stop pushing their actions on her.
When we can own our actions and reactions, we bring understanding and power to our lives. Yet in turn, honoring how others may feel and adjusting to see their perspective is true empowerment.
How do you speak IN truth?
1. Speak it! Be bold. Make sure it IS your truth.
2. Speak with honest statements of behavior and an example of this behavior in action.
3. Speak about feelings when they are your own, such as I am feeling frustrated when ___, I am hurt by discussions around…
4. Continue to keep only respectful reactions on behavior, examples, and personal feelings; be in control of how we ourselves feel in relation to others and their reactions.
5. Leave judgmental statements out of the conversation.
6. Realize we must own our words and actions and how others may view them.
7. When our behaviors are misunderstood by others, we need to examine our intent and effect.
Our world has become a place of disrespect or disregard of others and their feelings. Why do some individuals feel they are only powerful when they hurt others deeply? Speaking IN truth means we are responsible for our words and their effect on others. Where will you begin speaking IN truth? I can’t wait to hear!
More drama coming…stay tuned!
Walking with You,