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Relationship Realness: D'Andra Got it Right!

Why is it we talk about all of the negative things and argue with others, yet go on FB and post cute pictures, positive sayings and quotes and show only the most positive and best part of our lives?

In the most recent episode of the Real Housewives of Dallas, D’Andra and LeeAnne are meeting for lunch after the Halloween Party at Stephanie and Travis’ home. LeeAnne made the personal choice, even after her therapist suggested it was a poor idea, to dress up as “Two-Faced Stephanie”. D’Andra was appalled at her friend’s decision to treat their host with such disregard. She pointed out the fact that LeeAnne is striving to be a motivational speaker and her behavior matters. To quote her, “you can’t go to someone’s home dressed up as them, make fun of them, and then go write an inspirational quote on your Facebook page” .

LeeAnne shrugged off the insights from her friend. As we know, “actions speak louder than words”. Yet, how many times have we felt the same way about a friend, colleague, or even family member?

We see more gossiping and judging as a daily activity with others. Bullying is not just in our schools, nor part of the youth-based culture. It is evident in our workplace, organization, community, and even religious institutions. Trust as an action is not given easily and based on how we were treated in other experiences with women. Many of my clients come to me to understand broken friendships, betrayals, and painful interactions with female friends and colleagues, even more than marriages. In the last episode you saw how Stephanie and Brandi lost their friendship over mistrust and negative communication, even though it was incorrectly interpreted.

A year ago, a colleague and I co-founded a group for women called The Every Heart Project. Our first event was to create a retreat experience for women to attend with the belief, Every Heart Has a Story. The weekend was a resounding success and the synergy of the women catapulted us into establishing other initiatives such as workshops and monthly events, and the Every Heart Sister Circle.

Our community has grown astronomically and we are publishing women’s stories and planning our second annual retreat scheduled November 10-12 in the Dallas area. We strive for reaching women with our joint focused mission of: emPower, Elevate, and Equip.

Little did we know, some of our women would bring their difficulty of working closely with other women, understanding that seeing the gifts in someone else does not mean your gifts are diminished, and you can connect somehow with everyone without taking away from any friendship, even in a similar industry. It has been a learning experience to support all women as they each accept their own gifts, hear their own voice, and support each other in the sharing of their unique gifts in life and work.

Yes, there have been struggles in learning how to appreciate everyone and to be “real”. We promote an online community where real communication is to take place with each other. Our “sister circles” spotlight the challenges we each experience in life and how to be transparent with our lives as women.

What would your reaction have been to a friend like D’Andra did with LeeAnne? Are you true to yourself? What part of you do you share with others online and face to face, even when someone isn’t looking? What about with those closest to you? What would your friends say about you and your “true” self? Be open to recognizing the gifts of others and focus on what IS working more than you do what ISN’T in our lives. Where will you start?

Walking with You,


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