I’ve Got to be ME!

Can you believe this is the last episode of RHOD Season 3? The reunion begins next week and I promise the heat won’t be turned down to a simmer just yet! I feel this week’s episode should end with everyone singing “I’ve got to be me”. Each woman is finding their stride whether those of a mediator, a coach, a leader, a quiet supporter, an instigator, or an observer.

It all begins with the set up for a Hollman celebration in honor of Travis as he leaves for Harvard to finish his MBA in their leadership program. How perfect to get him ready to campus life but with a “Frat Party” and to ensure the fun, a wild bouncing foam pit.

This episode also shows how many big leaps were made this season in life are in motion for D’Andra and LeeAnne. Wedding plans are in the works as LeeAnne and Rich choose their ceremony location at the Cathedral of Hope. She feels a connection to this church as they embrace difference, one of her outreach focuses in life. She herself needs to feel the acceptance as well, no wonder it is her mission. As they meet with the minister their sharing of their relationship says a lot. From words of ”we complete each other” to “ we protect each other” are the mantras. LeeAnne is ready to open up and express her love for Rich and to receive it back. That IS progress. This chapel provides the feeling of acceptance toward being “worth the love.”

D’Andra and her mom, Dee, have come a long way this season. In this episode the much discussed business shift is finally occurring. They have a “ceremony” of the signing of the paperwork as the company is given in its entirety to D’Andra. Dee is releasing the reins and the arguing is over. Yes, D’Andra is now the major #bossbabe! Congratulations! Dee is committed to help her as she works in taking over. The most important moment is when D’Andra hears her mom say how proud of her she truly is and always has been. She is the successful woman she has always wanted to be.

Now we make the inevitable shift to drama and more drama. Kameron and LeeAnne are closer than ever in their “mean girls” matching outfits ready for the frat party. LeeAnne shares her fear of attending and being attacked. She is already predicting the reactions and anger coming from Brandi and even from D’Andra. Is she bringing the negativity toward her by already planning it and placing her guarded actions in her mind.

I bet you have been asking yourself as you watched, “will LeeAnne explode and become more violent again?” Have you been expecting it? Of course you have! Each week we have led you to that conclusion. When someone is healing and changing their behaviors from old patterns to establishing new ones, if they are presented, repeatedly, with an expectation of the old ways, they will eventually show you the old ways. For example, if your friend is trying to quit smoking. Every time you are together you continuously take them to places where others are smoking and point out that your friend used to smoke. You can’t believe they don’t want to smoke. Then. give them cigarettes as a gift, as you continue to not believe they have really quit. It is most likely your friend will eventually smoke the whole pack in one sitting. They will regret it and lash out at you. Isn’t this how bullies behave?

I ask you, who is the bully and who is the victim in this situation of the season? I will say I believe both LeeAnne AND Brandi have bullied and also placed themselves in victim roles. LeeAnne has talked about D’Andra and Brandi this year and bullied them with passive aggressive actions while waiting for them to attack her. Has this been her way of protecting herself from pain in her own way? Brandi has a way of arguing and losing it when confronted with things. She can be revengeful in her own way and not supportive of others decisions. She becomes very passionate when she argues and then regrets how it feels, which is why she cries. Is this Brandi’s way of playing victim, to get me and disbelieve you before you get me? She can escalate very quickly if others don’t see her side and take it with her. In her final confessional she even states how she feels hurt by Stephanie when she chose to go check on LeeAnne after making sure Brandi was ok.

Of course the violent and aggressive scene which resulted was not healthy for anyone involved. LeeAnne completely let go and all of the anger targeted at Brandi. Her “collapse” of worth onto the ground was for attention and actually release for herself. Thank goodness Cary and Kameron didn’t attend to it. She eventually jumped back up into her seat with the drama episode over. Brandi digested LeeAnne’s anger and released it paired with her own remorse through tears. The effect for all of the women will ultimately carry over to the reunion show. Nothing was resolved in these outbursts and only more anger, resent, and ultimately some revenge will result. There will be broken relationships which will not be able to be repaired in these situations and everyone will carry the negative feelings long after the show is over.

Have you experienced these type of devastating arguments with a friend? Which role did you portray? What was the outcome, did you resolve or resist? Yes, this topic isn’t over and my insights will be carried over to the this week’s reunion show airing. Let’s continue the topic a little further.

As I close, I want to share the best quote of the night by Stephanie Hollman, “Life is about being true to yourself...not loyalty.” Stephanie did honor herself this year and so did Cary in many instances. Yes, it’s not about choosing sides or teams, but being honest in your own process of supporting others or even deciding not to choose at all and remaining neutral while others work it out.

Until then…Stay Tuned,

Lori

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