The Great, Horrible Idea
The title of my blog this week was difficult to choose. Stephanie’s fabulous quote resonated with me, “the great, horrible idea,” and is a classic overview of this episode. As the girls travel to Copenhagen, the feeling was overwhelmingly accurate from many of them. Something on this trip will go horribly wrong, more than right. Cary wanted to thank all of the girls for coming to Copenhagen with her to visit where her relatives are from and to even meet them. She orchestrated a beautifully elaborate dinner at the five star restaurant in their hotel. Cary hoped it would create a positive atmosphere and rekindle some feelings of friendship. Yet, what started off with fun swiftly turned to words of accusation and anger between D’Andra and Kameron. Nothing clears a restaurant and takes away appetite than screaming voices and the other guests quickly began exiting. As a matter of fact, the girls did, too.
Yes, that was only the opening! The only person enjoying the “show” was Brandi as she was determined to face things head on with the accusations by LeeAnne of being an alcoholic by becoming one. Drinking numerous shots, finishing everyone’s drinks at the table and successfully building a pyramid of the glasses only spotlighted her passive aggressive behavior even further. ”I want to have fun and I just want her to feel uncomfortable,” was her agenda and obviously it didn’t work. Stephanie was even concerned about her choice to pretend to be an alcoholic instead of talking it through in a meaningful way with LeeAnne. Isn’t communication of how we feel and what our reaction to ours a more healthy way? Obviously not the choice yet on this trip. Stay tuned, as we say, they flight is about to get bumpy. The international tour guidebook of this episode should be, “My Trip to Copenhagen...filled with what to do and what NOT to do, literally.
There are two components I would like to provide insight as I watched this episode. Yes, it still involves relationships and yes, we have all experienced arguments with a friend or even family member so we can each relate.
The first involves TRUST. We can each connect to a situation or maybe even a person where you felt trust was challenging or maybe even lost. D’Andra shared a moment in which she was hurt by the assumption that someone leaked Information outside of the circle of trust from beaver creek’s girls trip and it has continued. LeeAnne is feeling the lack of trust with her and D’Andra by her choice to not attend the wedding dress shopping day. Both are feeling betrayed and trust has been breached. This version of trust is a mutual agreement to honor a relationship based on boundaries and expectations established in four key areas: common interest, predictability, consistency, and having the best interest of the other person in mind as you act and react. I have followed this guideline in many of my own roles and relationships and if the four aspects are regarded by all individuals involved, a positive foundation in trust results. If we continue to respect the four, we build on the foundation and can continue our interactions and communications together. When even one is ignored or not considered, it results in a difficulty which may or may not be able to be repaired. Did you see this evident in LeeAnne and D’Andra’s relationship? Common interests have started to shift, predictability is in lack and so is consistently. They have not chosen to honor the other person’s feelings or responses whatsoever. It is a deep loss. Others have started choosing sides in the “battle” which is brewing and all will lose when these kind of actions are taken. We will see next week how this will continue.
The second insight I would like to provide is with Brandi and LeeAnne. As Brandi shares with Stephanie, “I’m just going to get wasted in front of LeeAnne and see if she will bring it up,” meaning her being an alcoholic, we see the next step in her plan of revenge. Who is that hurting? Brandi was ready to make LeeAnne feel uncomfortable by drinking herself into a drunken state to prove something to a friend. When we damage who we are and stay tethered to a behavior or action from someone else instead of releasing it, rationale thinking is not in control and right now, neither was Brandi. Eventually we see back in the suite how Brandi confronts LeeAnne about her rumors and how hurtful it was to her. LeeAnne apologizes and explains her observation and concerns over how Brandi has been drinking every time she has seen her at a function. This opening begins a release for Brandi to tell the girls about being concerned about her adoption being connected to being an alcoholic. This further triggers who honest and deeper release of how her own drinking was really happening and no one knew when she was having difficulties in her marriage. Wow! Good job, Brandi. You talked it through with a pain point you had with LeeAnne and started the process to possible healing further. It’s your choice now what you do with the next steps.
Communication is powerful and the lack of it can lead to the types of drama-filled events we are seeing this season. As we enter the holiday season, treasure your friendships and relationships. Take time to honor them and continue to build trust which isn’t just given once but consistently nurtured.
Until next episode...stay tuned,
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