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Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall

October 5, 2018

 The emotions are high and rumors are beginning to fly for the “housewives” on RHOD. What happened to “it’s so nice to all be friends and getting along”?” It is difficult to stand in front of the mirror and see our true self revealed. Wearing a mask is where we hide when the reality of life is showing its reflection in our thoughts and actions to others. We do see our own challenges and past experiences mirrored in someone else’s life and the influence on us is to either fight back, ignore and not let it engage us, or to withdraw. How do you react to others painful statements and behaviors? 

 

Let’s be real, ladies. I have been on that set of RHOD and you don’t forget the cameras are rolling when you share experiences in life or when you talk with someone about theirs. Your intentions must be thought out and not just be reactive in the moment, even thought that does occur. D’Andra, you choose your intention of negative words, body language (yes, I watch everything), and tone of voice. Be careful how you react and what you actually put out there on this platform. Is your intention to air someone’s hurt, fear, and pain so everyone who watches knows? We are also capable of projecting our unresolved hurts and fears onto others. It results in gossip, pushing others in conversation with leading accusations and many other negative communication reactions, both verbal and nonverbal.

 

What did our “housewives” see in their mirrors? How did it affect their behavior in this episode? What are they hiding deep down? 

 

Let’s do a quick recap and have each instance give us some insight. 

 

Even though they had a positive conversation about being ready to release the company for her daughter to move forward, D’Andra isn’t ready to feel safe with her rekindled relationship with Momma Dee. Do you agree with her reaction? Would you be unsure, too, with your heart’s desire being given to you freely? Would you feel like rejecting it just to make it match what you have known previously in your life? 

 

LeeAnne and Rich are working on their wedding, one step at a time. Is she willing to share what is really going on? Is she afraid of being abandoned? Is D’Andra correct in her assessment of Rich and LeeAnne’s relationship? Is D’Andra  deflecting her own fears by launching doubt into her friend’s heart and personal life? 

 

None of us ever behave or share our feelings and thoughts  completely “correct”. We are all learning on the journey and each lesson is a building block to the next challenge. As we know, D’Andra and LeeAnne are finding themselves in the midst of the drama and gossip at this time. 

 

To continue our “view”, Kameron is adding to the negativity with her own desire to hear what is going on and put in her reactions and feelings about it. Talking about it further and placing ourselves in the midst of the challenges never works out for anyone involved, including us.

 

“Negative influencer” is Brandi’s new title. She is seeking behind the mask and into the mirror to reflect on her previous behavior and relationships with the hope of not perpetuating the problems. Brandi is receiving the most, actually, on and off camera as she stretches herself and the new role of being a mom and an adoptive mom at that. Adoption seems to bring out the most questions and the most opinions in others, many of them negative. 

 

Who are the neutral “housewives”? Stephanie finds herself trying to calm the situations and be supportive without negative intent or underlying motives.  While Cary is leading with the statement, “if you tell me something about someone else, I am going to that person and tell them.” What she is saying is, don’t involve me anymore. She is trying a new approach this season and remaining neutral is the best solution to be in. You can listen without sharing your own feelings and thoughts.  Being proactive and creating balance as Stephanie is doing, is a neutral positive, too. 

 

Why is gossip so dangerous, not as much for the receiver but the giver? 

The negative language spoken by the gossiper is a deep caustic toxin staying long after the words are spoken and the feelings dismissed. Intention is what’s important. Ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you using words to help or heal? 

  • Is the intention to make yourself feel better in the moment or to support the other person in their own journey? 

  • What is the desired outcome? Bringing forth love and compassion or revenge and pain?

 

It is all your choice.

 

Hurtful words to others are only being spoken to not see their own pain, jealousy, envy, resentment, and “lack” in life. As we used to say, “I get them before they get me.” Even LeeAnne has shared how her life has been prior to making the shift toward wanting more peace and less drama. 

 

Choose for yourself in the situation because the reaction you carry forward in your own life is what is important and long lasting. My hope is each “housewife” will find resolution and healing in their own reactions and that you may, too. How will you approach life today? Set your intention now. You will be glad you did. 

 

Until then...Stay tuned,

Lori

 

 

If you want to follow more of Walk with Lori’s insights and visionary words, see us on FB, Twitter, and Instagram. Her newest book, Step OUT, Step UP, Step Forward: How to walk in purpose will be available for sale and download next week. 

 

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