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Proceed with Caution

Friendships are shifting again. If I hadn’t watched it myself in the last episode on RHOD, I wouldn’t have believed it. As the song says, “why can’t we all just be friends?” Do we dare make predictions on how these relationships will all become by the end of the season? Let’s do some quick recaps and then talk about how to proceed with caution, since it seems to be our theme in all the vignettes.

We open with Brandi attempting to manage her new life as a mom to three children which includes two little girls who are not so happy with the attention being given to their new little brother. Hopefully, Brandi will be able to get herself on a much needed routine with everyone and find some time for herself, too.

Relationships are challenging, yet they teach us the most about ourselves. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is what we see in ourselves. All relationships are about learning strategies, strengths, and growing even more as a person with purpose. Yet for the women on RHOD, they need to investigate all options, consider who they care about and why, and most of all, if they choose to shift alliances they will want to “proceed with caution”.

After D’Andra confronts LeeAnne with her concerns in regards to their marriage preparations and the lack of movement, LeeAnne decides to share her feelings with Rich over a dinner out. Is LeeAnne afraid to push Rich to set a date or is she really scared to get married? Is her fear projecting and creating negative feelings around self worth and being “lovable enough” so Rich won’t leave her? I applaud her for voicing her inner concerns which stand in the way of her happiness and ability to “step forward” in her relationship. LeeAnne, keep being real with yourself and take it one step at a time. You will be just fine. Trust yourself and proceed with caution so you feel comfortable at each new action.

D’Andra seems to be at the heart of the relationship discussion in many ways. The interaction between her and her mom has become an unmanageable one so attention needs to be taken to ensure her own growth and new foundation in business. She confesses to LeeAnne her need to actually write the plan and start executing the steps. Yes, D’Andra, it can’t get better if steps aren’t planned and taken. Think the steps through and...proceed with caution.

D’Andra and LeeAnne continue their discussion with the wedding update and the reaction is less than positive. It then leads them into a reflection about Brandi and D’Andra’s newly formed friendship. LeeAnne shares her concern and asks her to be cautious. Yes, exercising the “proceed with caution” theme phrase is important for all of them. Too many turns and detours will derail the best of relationships.

We watched as D’Andra shared her birthday evening out at the rodeo with some of the girls. Is it a shock that tequila shots started the night off? LeeAnne expressed to D’Andra how she felt Brandi was a bad influence on her. Unfortunately, when you choose to step out in such a strong manner conversations may get turned in the process. Is this a reaction to a fear of losing a close friend or is it a feeling of being left out in the fun? Both may apply and competition is just beginning. How do you handle when things are shifting in relationships, and close friends of talking about your most personal and intimate life stories? When these behaviors begin to occur, you know the lines of intimacy and confidentiality are breaking down.

What has happened to relationships between women? Have you experienced a friendship in your life you thought was a close one and then find out your most private details are being laughed about with another entire group of individuals? You are not to own any feelings of “shame” or “betrayal”. That is immediate where we as women shift our feelings. We chain other moments in our life that connect to the same feeling and then allow it to affect our self worth. You see this evident in how LeeAnne reacts, and even D’Andra does as well. Let me say to you all...YOU ARE of GREAT WORTH. Own your worth and have a discussion with the other individual to create a healthy boundary. If that is not possible, distance yourself from their view and remain neutral on the periphery of their life. Make sure you are only speaking in truth and not in hurt or anger. Anger turned inward will result in feelings of revenge. Stay away from this deep dark “hole”. It is a dangerous place to experience and walk away from when the action has been unleashed. Choose to be a woman of worth...a woman of significance...a woman leading the way to healthy communication and love for others lives and even their pain.

Legacy is important in families and especially in the Simmons and Wescott names. The pressure has always been a part of D’Andra’s life with the exception of her college years, which she mentioned last episode. As she begins to walk into an unknown future as a business woman, is the pressure to behavior and believe a certain way creating a strong reaction for D’Andra so her newest mantra is...”girls just wanna’ have fun”? She was judged all her life for her she was and who she was becoming, maybe she doesn’t want to look at who she wants to be right now. D’Andra may want to be free to be herself as she examines her crossroads in life. So, I do believe her and Brandi will be moving forward in their friendship for a while until D’Andra establishes who she wants to be in her new sense of “identity” of life. Remember, we learn the most about ourselves in our relationships from who we want to be to who we don’t want to be like.

Side bar: I love Cary and Mark’s new renovation plans! I’m coming over to visit the closet and the cooking unit. Just telling you now. I feel shopping is closely connected to their future for new clothes and shoes to make the closet appear as a retail boutique and for the refrigerator to be stocked with fabulous cuisine ingredients for dinner preparation to begin.

As our “housewives” are navigating the journey of Season 3 together, I want to quote Brandi in saying, “at the end of the day, she (D’Andra) just need to be happy and be who she is.” We all do!

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