Welcome back to RHOD this week and it lended itself to numerous little stories. All I can say is, “snow-tastic”!
The first one I’d light to spotlight is a continuous from last week between Kameron and Brandi which left everyone ready to walk away and flee from Beaver Creek or come out fighting.
The theme should be: “Let it Go, Let it Go!”
Too much alcohol and emotional intensity was a result of the “badgering” Kam unleashed on Brandi in regards to her recent decision to adopt Bruin. Who harasses a person who wanted to have another child? It doesn’t seem right! Everyone jumps in on the girls outing to bring closure to the evenings disagreements. Cary tries to calm Kam. Brandi takes the high ground and apologizes. Kam still refuses to apologize for her own actions. LeeAnne has the winner insight of the night by sharing words and intention are very different. Intention is so much more powerful and should be the focus in this situation. Way to go, LeeAnne!
Second theme is instead of the “tie that binds” its the “tequila that binds”. Who would have thought that D’Andra and Brandi could talk their differences through and establish a common ground. Yes, it started around tequila and continued through tequila. All I can say is, whatever works for you all. I’m just glad they both were able to see the fun and enjoyment they could have getting to know each other a little more. It will be interesting to see where the friendship goes.
The last theme I want to highlight the most is “I Do, I Don’t”. Marriage has been a topic for all of the relationships since season one, from Brandi and Brian, Stephanie and Travis, D’Andra and Jeremy, Kameron and Cort, and now LeeAnne and Rich.
D’Andra is concerned and has been about why LeeAnne and Rich have not set a date. No surprise there. After the impromptu wedding pushed on them at her anniversary party, she is doing everything she can to have them get married.
Marriage should not be taken lightly and if more of us were serious about the commitment divorce wouldn’t be as prevalent as it is. Commitment is only a piece of making a marriage successful. Love, actually, is at the heart but not the soul of it.
So many of my unmarried clients and friends as:
How do you know if you are ready for marriage?
How do you know if he/she is the right one?
How can I be sure we won’t end up in divorce or have infidelity concerns?
D’Andra even asks LeeAnne, “why do you think you can’t be happily married?” She responds with two very important comments that should be addressed in their life before even walking forward. Rich seems to be struggling with his loss of vision and the injury which caused it. Rich did give her a ring to make sure she knew he was committed but he may not be ready to take the next set yet. Being married before, he understands the likelihood of divorce in second marriages and doesn’t want to experience that again in his life or LeeAnne’s.
Honoring each other each day is the only way to stay connected, even in the tough moments. When we lose sight of our love and commitment to each other, and what it means, is the second we begin glancing at what something else in life may bring us or someone else may make us feel. Focus on each other and building the life you want each day is what works, even on the days you don’t feel that way.
The other half of the equation is LeeAnne. She has a happy life and when they are ready they will be. She does share, “It’s me...I’ve been single for 50 years; no doubt he is my soulmate, but don’t want him to leave me in the future.” She also understands that feeling unworthy is a real factor in her life. When we feel unloved or unworthy, we have placed ourselves in “lack”. LeeAnne has dealt with this challenge all her life and marriage will not fix the feeling, sometimes it can even create the effect of divorce even quicker because you are expecting it. It calls it forth into your world, yes, attraction laws will be at work. Thoughts become things in our reality and LeeAnne and Rich will have to work both of these concerns out. Hopefully, they will.
Cary was correct in saying, “divorce is real; no one plans it; it happens.” When we don’t plan for success in life or even in our work, we bring forth the opposite. There are lessons in all relationships. Each are meant to teach us something about our self in our own growth at a greater potential than we could ever learn on our own. It isn’t just because you love each other. Yet, love is a key part of the relationship. It isn’t because of a faith-based practice, it is a large part of the longevity of it is having a foundational belief in the union of two hearts.
Marriage commitment should be taken seriously. It cannot be decided upon for reasons outside our the relationship. I have seen and heard from clients over the years the explanations for marriage outside of the two individuals. Here are a few examples, “everyone else we know is getting married and they are happy” and “our friends say we should because it is time in your relationship.”
LeeAnne posed a fabulous question during the episode I want to reframe into this discussion, “what are your intentions?” They all should be asking the same thing in their own questioning of LeeAnne and Rich’s relationship. What are LeeAnne’s intentions? She should ask herself and ask Rich, “what are his intentions?” D’Andra should ask herself the same question, “What are her intentions?” Are they to support her friend or to create her own agenda to be answered and listened to? Just a thought.
Snow-tastic was more than just snowmobiling, massages, shopping, and tequila.It was focused on friendship, understanding, and intention. I can only hope next week continues to promise even more insights on the same. As we say, bring it on, ladies!